'Til Darth do us part

Tracy has been released on bail, following her Oasis-backdropped clanging of Darth Builder's napper. The Barlows: happy and conned. EvilDavid says that he saw everything that happened on the night of the moider, and that it was all in self-defence, then rubs his panto moustache as a crack of lightning goes off behind him. The Barlows want him to go to the Police, The Carp wants him to consider the consequences of getting involved in something so serious if he is lying. What consequences? You mean like getting a car bought for you, or not being made to go to school? The Carp: brain-dead. EvilDavid: Mwahahahahaaaaaaaa! He goes to the ScouseCopper to tell them all his lies, ScouseCopper looks angry as usual.

David spends the rest of the week sitting in his car sinisterly eyeing Tracy and everyone else whilst his vehicle belches malevolence out of the exhaust. Maybe his car is a chavvy version of 'Christine' and they are forming a symbiotic relationship of pernicious intent. Either way, later in the week he goes into the Darth Towers whilst Tracy is back in there putting dibs on what she wants to steal. He is all passive aggressive along the lines of "I just want to put my little felt tip in your ladyfoof help you Tracy". Tracy obviously now needs to decide what would be worse, years in prison looking at tattooed women who would like to hurt her or about 20 seconds looking at David's orgasm face. It's not as easy as you think is it? She tries to buy him off with a Car Radio, but he says that is not enough, and "anyway the car talks to me at all times and understands me like no other". Tracy: worried.

Tracy drowns her sorrows in the Rovers later in the week and ends up staying out all night, much to Blanche's chagrin. This plot has its moments, but it is still very silly and hopefully over very soon.

There are some romantic shenanegins over at the factory where Liam Gallagher is after ThinTwin and Kelly is after Liam Gallagher in the latest Triangle of Inadequacy. To cut a long story short, Liam goes for ThinTwin and she ends up finishing with Mcbaldwin, thus this storyline does have one redeeming feature. Hopefully McBarlow will now kill himself or something. In other factory related pointlessness, Noel Gallagher has a row with his missus off the Daz adverts about something so tedious my brain blocked it out in favour of a slideshow of grass growing. There is a brilliant scene in the Rovers where Wurzel, Steve and McBarlow argue as to who is the biggest loser. McBarlow trumps Steve's "Still live with me mum" with "look at my hair and acting ability".

Jailhouse Becky is having trouble with someone from her past who is called Worm or something, who keeps turning up at the cafe and being portentous of bad things to happen. It all ends with Worm getting her drunk and nicking The Crappers new car. After much fibbing and nonsense The Crappers find out and Hayley banishes her to the seventh level of hades (Rushholme) for Abuse of Trust, one of the top ten soap crimes of all time. She later comes round to the Rovers to beg for forgiveness, but Hayley requests that JBecky address her manual dexterity as her physiognomy is no longer paying attention. JBecky leaves the pub as a perfectly formed tear runs down her flushed apple cheeks.

In Other News:
BONG! 2 new characters, Dev tries to work his oily charms on the woman
BONG! Jason is attempting to run Darth's business
BONG! Hearsay has a new bloke, leading Steve to strike "Why the fuck is this happening to me?" faces nos 23, 3, 24, 235 and 9.

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