February 22, 2006

In which I have to crib a bit due to not seeing it much this week.

Apologies all as I have seen little of the street this week due to having a life, well a bit of one anyway...

It is the aftermath of the revelations about (Not so) St Ed's past. Emily is lighting candles and getting all watery eyed about her dear devoted Ernest and Eileen is getting all dry of foof about her dear departed Ed. Sean Convinces Eileen to go and see Emily to find out what is going on. Emily tells Eileen "I'm afraid I've thrown you a wrong 'un Eileen, the man I thought was a decent man is in fact Murdering Michael McMurderer, from Killville, Killinois, and he murderised my husband to death." Eileen: shocked but still horny. Next day Emily comes round to see her and tells her that she hoped she could forgive him, but all she wants to do is crush him without mercy. She later tries to go to church, but some some kind of Devil's forcefield stops her going in, and thus it seems she is to lose her faith until the writers make her perform the inevitable forgiveness.

Eileen goes to see St Ed to demand THE TRUTH. He tells her "I killed a bloke, got sent to chokey, found God whilst I was having my back door kicked in by Ronnie the Bastard and was released and wanted to make it right with Emily." She melts into his his strong homicidal arms and agrees to continue their love and hav a word with Emily.

Eileen tells Emily of St Ed's remorse, but Emily is having none of it and instead suggest that Eileen is so "desperate for a man that she'll take anything, even a murderiser with questionable hair" ,and that's ignoring the fact he has appeared in both Heartbeat and Where the Heart Is, both of which are now classified as hate crimes by teh EU Court. Eileen leaves Emily's house and weeps like a lickle baby about the fact that she is probably also now on Emily's "Crush Without Mercy" List.

The Carp has been in receipt of a Valentine card from Richard Hillman, the nation is nowhere near the edge of its seat at the mystery of it all. In agreement with this site's poll Audrey says, "It's Phil", Carp says it isn't, Audrey reminds her that the last time she thought she knew a man he turned out to be a pantomime villain with a quiff who tried to kill her family. Carp says, "am I bovvered? Anyway it's not Phil" and Audrey pulls a brilliant disapproving face. We will no doubt find out who it is soon enough, but this really is a crock of shite storyline either way.

Tracy is on the crawl with Darth Builder and offering everything in her box of tricks to win him back. He agrees to let her move in but says, "Get your bits, get your back, but don't bring your kid". Long story short she leaves the Amee behind as it is "for the best" and moves in with him. The Barlows: agog. Darth: mwahahahahahaaaaaaa! This all seems a little forced to me, almost like the writers are trying too hard to make them an evil couple, in the next few weeks I expect them to turn into Fred & Rose West, only with less bondage and more wee wee.

Fred receives a phone callfrom WBBev, she has been abandoned by her cruise boyfriend in the middle of "nowhere", this often happens of course, people rarely drop you off at a train station or anything. Fred wobbles to the rescue like some beclothed blancmange and goes to get her, WBBev is very grateful, how grateful I wonder? Well we soon find out as he inevitably proposes and she accepts, even though he is an enormous fat minger with a meat fetish. Fred is happy as he will finally get married and maybe get his rocks off. "I'm putting it in now I say I'm putting it in now.." (for an hilarious discussion about this, please visit here, thanks to the GUT gang for filling in some blanks this week as well)

David has found a Cannabis plantation (!) over the bookies. I completely missed this episode so if anyone can enlighten me I'll be grateful

In other news:
BONG! Bradley, bought Leanne a car, it breaks.
BONG! Sally, happy that Craig has another woman at his house
BONG! Rita, looking for a new flat
BONG! Clurr, non-comedy involving valentine's card she thinks is from Steve. It's from Ashley.

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