Eileen sees him lateer in the pub and asks him what is going on, and does he not fancy her. he says "No, I really fancy you and you are special etc, however I must now go and
Not So St Ed then scarpers from Eileen leaving her thinking it is all over after only one game of hide the sausage. Good storyline this, you really can feel Emily's pain and it is teeing up for a great test of faith storyline for a long standing character.
Darth and Tracy are not getting on well, mainly due to Darth not wanting her there. Tracy however knows how to win Darth over and says, "Look Darth, my body is basically your potty to do with as your bodily functions will." This convinces Darth to keep her around. Steve is not happy at his quite frighteningly ugly daughter being left in a house with a Sith Lord, and they nearly have a fight. It is all very silly, but it was nice to see a reappearance of Steve's "Why the Fuck is This Happening to Me?" face after a long hiatus. Later in the week Darth starts to talk about the reasons why he wants to mictirate on women, something to do with his mum or something, but he clams up just at the point at which I was starting to get to this side of the "interested" post.
Tracy makes the mistake of thinking that this has weakened Darth and starts to take the mickey by leaving him alone with Amy all day. Charlie marches round to the pub with Amy in his arms and tells Tracy that she is chucked and her and her ugly kid are out, bag and baggage. Tracy tries to calm him but he says "I'm off to town to meet a mate and probably pull. Have you any idea how full my bladder is?!". Tracy: upset. Shelley: told you so. Darth: dark side fully returned.
All in Casa Carp is relatively normal, normal for them anyway. PPPhil returns from the shops and has bought David a Westlife CD (what the fuck?!), apparently the Carp said he liked them. Now PPPhil may be an evil foot maitherer but I am sure he is not stupid enough to think that a teenager as angry and messed up as David is going to storm out of the room and put "Flying Without Wings" on full blast? Anyway DAvid is suitably unimpressed and he tells PPPhil so, PPPHil drags him down the stairs and puts his hand in the door and says "How would you like me to break your fingers eh? You ugly wee shite on wheels." The Carp comes in as PPPhil releases David and he runs upstairs. PPPhil says, " I guess he disnae like Westlife", and smirks the smile of the evil. David also keeps seeing some blond woman around a lot and ends up in her house, for reasons I can't fathom. Maybe all will become clear next week.
Welcome to the most pathetically contrived plot in the history of Soapland. Tyrone and Molly have a day out on the van selling hot dogs and uncomfortably getting close to each other. On the way the home the van catches fire as they are driving along (oh my sides!), they drive along for a mile, incredibly without Tyrone spotting the flames in his mirrors (bang! there goes another rib!), they then decide the best way to put it out is to drive it into a duck pond in a park (oh stop it, please! I can't take anymore hilarity!). They end up snogging, surprise surprise. They are quite a well matched couple actually, in that they are both pointless characters and borderline retards.
Fred has kicked out Orchid permanently, but not before her Unconvincing Gangster Boyfriend terrified Rita out of her own house.
In Other News (abbreviated):
BONG! Frankie, Nathan: Going on a date (Frankie's eyebrows really need doing by the way)
BONG! Wurzel, Violet: still together
BONG! Deirdre: being blackmailed at work by someone about something (mind refusing to compute.)
BONG! The bookgroup: met once again, with hilarious results (seriously)
BONG! Dev & Amber: nice little relationship building.