March 08, 2006

In which Sally goes mental mental, chicken oriental!

Rersio is palying her parents like a cheap banjo and still doing adolescent sex, the juvenile obsession with Craigiet. She tells Sall that there is no point moping about and is going to spend some time with Pippa, I have a frightening moment where I think that she may be about to go lesbotic with her mate, then I remember that this isn't EastEnders and relax. She walks out of the house and goes straight to Craigiet's, and is spied by Kevin whilst doing so. Whod've thought that her cunning plan of not getting seen ie walking across the street in full view of everyone woudl backfire in such a way. Sall hears and is biblical with outrage, Rersio says that they are stuck together like dogs in autumn and there is nothing she can do about it. Sally reacts by getting brochures to a boarding school in Yorkshire, Rersio doesn't take it seriously as they can't affrd it anyway, Sall informs her that she'll do whatever it takes to get her away from the threat posed by Craigiet's Potential Wasting Penis. Rersio: shocked. Sall: Mad

Later in the week Sall sees the Gothic lovedragons kissing and flips harder than a pancake on Shrove Tuesday. She orders Rersio into the car and then drives off really rather fast. Turns out she is going directly to Rersio's Yorkshire Gaol, she will not pass Go and she will not be collecting £200. Craigiet informs Kevin of what has happened and that they left "about an hour ago", Keving speeds of like a confused looking slightly more simian Colin Farrell, and ten minutes later is "right behind them". His van is obviously KITT in disguise and he put it in "pursuit" mode and made liberal use of the "Turbo Boost" function. Rersio meanwhile is trying to talk to her mother and get her to slow down, but Sall just reponds with a series of clucks and beeps. In the end she skids to a halt in the middle of nowhere. To digress, where exactly in Yorkshire is this School? Because that is a hell of a strange route to go from Manchester, unless of course in teh midst of her madness she still worked out that the traffic on the M62 is murder at that time of day.

Anyway, Rersio asks Sall what is going on and Sall poignantly says, "I'm lost.." Kevin turns up and tells her something about how they are going to die together alone as the kids will leave home and just phone every couple of weeks. This inexplicably makes her feel better and she agrees to come home. In the end Sall agrees that Rersio cannot finish with Craigiet, and that she must "stay close". It all happened very abruptly this sequence, but I thought it was very well done, Rersio trying to help her mum in the end and feeling remorse, Kevin trying to sort it all out despite his obvious lack of tools for the job, Sall basically being clinically depressed after the last 18 months (affair, sacked, working back where she started etc, kid issues). All very realistic, and very touching in the end I thought. Oh yeah and Sally punched Janice in the pub again. Hooray!

Speaking of which. janice and Les end up shagging for reasons too boring to recount here. janice ends up leaving the street, sadly not forever as her character has been rescued. Christ knows why, unless they plan to make her the new love interest for Nathan or something. Cilla finds out about Les' shenanegans and kicks him out forever. There is a lot of non-comedy involving him living in the car.

Dr Hamsden has turned up at nursey and speaks to Clurr about Joshua. Clurr is too stupid to realise who he might be, which is no great surprise as she is also stupid enough to wear those glasses. He later pops into the butchers to call on Ashley, who does that red faced-watery eyed thing that he does that I think is meant to denote anger and emotion, or he could be touching cloth and desperately trying to hold it in. It's hard to tell. Ashley tells him he can't see him yadda yadda, Hamsden says, "I know you're angry about me and Maxine", Ashley says, "Don't you even say her name!" Maybe because she's like the Candyman and if you say her name 3 times she'll come from the dead and kill you, or out of rehab and back in the show, not sure what is worse. Anyway, Hamsden makes noises about not going away and Ashley spends the rest of the show squeaking loudly at everyone.

Emily's TokenDeaf Niece turns up and they go to church. St Ed is there and Emily runs off, he makesd more noises about repentance and the like, Emily makes more noises about wanting to crush his head in a vice until his eyeballs pop out or something. They all go home and later they are playing cards and Norris demands that Emily talk about her sorrow and feelings and she boots him out. He says, "You lot may be able to ignore her suffering, but I can't, and if that means I have to be kicked out then so be it". I love Norris for this, and he is right of course.

In Other News:
BONG! The Crappers and that Trainmong are still engaged in a storyline that bores me so much I could shit concrete.
BONG! Nathan and Frankie have made the beast with two backs
BONG! Kelly's mate is working in the factory. They used to be in prison together. No I don't care either.

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